Dear loving, tired, exasperated, happy, overwhelmed young mothers,
I see you.
I see you looking adoringly at your babe, and my heart feels full of joy for you..
I see you waiting anxiously to board the plane, praying your little passenger doesn’t torment the 87 people who are staring at you, hoping to God they are not sitting near you.
I see you in Target at 5 pm after work with young children who are dancing on your last nerve.
I see you looking exhausted in the grocery store. You haven’t slept, you are on the verge of tears. I want to help, but I’m a stranger and that would be weird. And scare you. Just remember soldiers use sleep deprivation to break their enemies. Don’t let that little soldier break you. Naps are not a luxury that are too good for you, if time permits, take what you can get!
I see you in the playground wondering how you could be so lucky to have this child you tried so hard for.
I see you in the doctors office worrying about making the right decisions for your babe. You are a good mom. Trust your gut. You are not over reacting, and you are paying them for their time. You are the customer.
I see you. The other older moms see you. We get you. We walk by you and we feel great empathy for how tired you are. We feel nostalgic for that time which seems to have floated by us in a wave of utter exhaustion, trying to juggling it all without any sleep. Some of us, without any help. We see you with huge hearts full of love for you and flash back to that time when we were you. We are the women who smile at you when you aren’t looking. We are the ones who hold the door as you carry a tantruming child out of the store. We silently send you a little wish out into the universe. And we giggle to ourselves. We are so happy for you. And we miss our children being that age so much. Oh how we would love to revisit that time, even if only for a week or two. Oh, and dear mama, we think the tantrums are really cute. I promise you, tantrums are adorable to those who are not the parent.
We old moms know stuff, and this is what I want you to know too….
That child, the one you don’t think will ever get out of 2nd grade, that child will grow to have great empathy and compassion. There will come a day when you call that very child for advice. I swear. It will be good advice and you will even do it again. And again.
That child that clings to your leg and cries hysterically at pre school drop off will travel the world without you, and.you will be hoping for a phone call from a far off land. You will know time zones by heart, so that you can keep up with the child you once could not pry off your body.
That kid who picks fights with you in fourth grade, will use that same hutzpah to get a fabulous job in their 20s. Someday, someone will pay that child for that attitude. I know, it’s weird.
The toddler who draws all over your walls and gets into your lipstick will someday get paid to make art. Send them a bill for lipstick replacement!
The child who doesn’t shut up in the car and makes you wish your ears would fall right off your body, there on the highway, will be invited to every dinner party as an adult because they will grow up to be a fabulous conversationalist.
That child who takes apart your sewing machine and leaves the parts all over the house will do great things with their curiosity.
That middle schooler who doesn’t talk about his feelings, will be a really great writer. (But do keep trying to get them to talk , you are right, it’s important.)
Oh and the one who critiques your cooking and your grocery shopping skills, will make a Béarnaise Sauce to die for in a couple years. Hand them your credit card and turn over the kitchen to them. They do know better. And they have since they were 6.
There will be struggles, there will be phases that you just pray they will outgrow. Especially if you have a biter. There will be lots of tears, many of them will be your own.
Just know, as you fight the good fight, you have our support. We see you. We are so happy for you. And we are cheering for you, quietly and from a distance. But we are here if you need us.
Big love!