Tips for Successful Road Trips and Co-Pilot Stitching

I recently found this blog post I had written a couple years ago. The dates are off but all of the sentiments are still very relevant. Hope it helps!

As may be evident by now, I love to travel. As much as I love exotic travel in a safari vehicle, a European riverboat, or a Swiss gondola, I am also a girl who loves a great road trip.  I love the control you have in picking your itinerary, accommodations, restaurants, and tourist spots. I love spontaneity. Many times I have driven by an antique shop and turned around to go back and check it out. I’ve done many, many, many drives with children, and over the last few years, many alone with my husband. I find the car trips are a great place to have deep and meaningful conversations. Any mother knows that cars are the best places to discuss difficult or uncomfortable things with children who don’t have to look you in the eye. I’ve explained many body parts and body functions from behind the wheel. My husband and I love car trips for the opportunity to listen to a great book on Audible together. 

Another perk to having your car is storing extra clothes. I was so happy when we went to visit friends at the beach this summer and I realized I had a baseball cap and a school sweatshirt in the back of my car for cool sunset walks.

Empire, Michigan

Don and I went on a 5 day car trip through the Pyrenees in October..

Here are some tips I have found along the way:

• People often ask me about my photos of needlepointing in the car. The trick to needlepointing in the passenger seat is to not look up. Keep your eyes down on your canvas or within the car itself. Do not look out the windows. It is seeing the movement which will make you feel car sick. Avoid looking out the window at the movement at all costs. That said, I also use car rides for stitching the bigger spaces, a big background of basketweave on 13 mesh is my car trip jam!

• Bring food. Have snacks and drinks with you. You can still stop for meals and fresh caffeinated drinks but it’s really nice to have favorite foods you like and agree with your dietary desires. We bring items like tangerines, macadamia nuts, and organic lemonades. Cheese and crackers are another favorite.

• A really full car can feel weary. If you can ship things ahead to your destination and have ample room in the car you will feel much “lighter” in multiple ways. Shipping can be expensive so look into your options.

• We travel with “carry on bags”, these are overnight bags containing favorite toiletries, night clothes, and a fresh outfit or two. This is so much easier than bringing in your big luggage into the hotel every night.

• I travel with my pillow everywhere I go. I know with 100% confidence that I will get a better night sleep and enjoy my trip much more if I use my own pillow. I have learned the hard way not to use white pillow cases. Put your pillow in a bright colored or patterned pillow case so that it doesn’t get left behind mixed in the hotel bed linens. Once you start doing this, you will realize there are a lot of “pillow carriers” out there.

• Any valuables you are traveling with need to come out of the car with you. I keep them in my purse or backpack and bring them into the hotel room at night.

• Keep that gas tank full. Not only is this just plain wise, it also allows you to make spontaneous carefree detours to discover new destinations.

• Don and I travel with book lights and eye masks.  Some nights we find one person wants to stay up later to read or watch a game and the other wakes up early. It allows you to stay snuggled up together without disturbing your partner’s sleep.

• Call ahead for a room if you have specific requirements.

• Pick some books on audible that you and your companions will love. Not only does it enhance the trip, it gives you wonderful topics to talk about over dinner.

Many of our road trips have great friends on the other end.

A favorite house spotted this fall in Little Compton, RI

En route to Burlington, Vermont.

A trip to Keene Valley, New York involved a beautiful swim.

Spontaneous trip to Chatham, Massachusetts

Additional tips for road trips with dogs:

• Book hotel rooms ahead of time. Dog friendly hotels are not as plentiful, especially over the holidays.  Our favorite is the very pet friendly Kimpton Hotels.

• Teather your dogs in the car.  Consult your vet on the best way to keep your dogs safe while driving. We personally always tether our dogs in the backseat to keep them safe and from climbing on our laps or knocking the gear shift. 
  

• Don and I take some razzing in our family over this but we stop every two hours, walk the dogs and switch drivers. It keeps us fresh and also keeps the pups in good spirits. Typical needlepointer, I try to make sure to my time off is in the daylight hours for stitching.

• Put dog beds in the backseat for their comfort.

• Our dog Daisy is more sensitive to noise in the hotel and we prefer that she doesn’t bark. We find that white noise playing in the hotel room comforts the dogs and helps them not react to every noise.  Rain storm in room 256!

Daisy and Finn have a big run around in Boca Grande, Florida. They love car rides but are so happy for their breaks every two hours.

Train Travel Pro Tip: Riding Along the Hudson River

Many of us in Southern Vermont love to take Amtrak to NYC. We drive to Albany and park our cars and ride the the train along the lovely Hudson River. I keep my eyes out for boats and buildings and the famous West Point school where we used to go to football games with my father. My husband and friend Amy always watch for and find Eagles. Pro tip: Ride on the right side on the way in and on the left side on the way out. Even in bad weather it is absolutely gorgeous.

Self confessed packing dork's best laid plans fall through

I confess to being a huge packing dork. I love photography and usually travel with a laptop and camera equipment, I also never leave home for the night without my pillow. Thus before I have started packing clothes, I have a weight and space I am already using. I am constantly trying to pack just the right amount things, I'm not into carting a lot of extra stuff around with me. I have also learned that hotel laundry can be the best traveling tip of all. Imagine carrying half the stuff, having someone wash and iron your clothes better than you do, and having clean laundry on the trip rather than carrying dirty laundry around. (Thank you Viking ships for convincing me this is the way to go.) My husband and I have also found that in many hotels laundry service is also not as expensive as you might guess.

I type this on a flight to Italy. I will be traveling throughout Tuscany and Switzerland for three weeks and I have spent a great deal of time preparing. I have prepared coverage for my business, my home, and my family (not in that order!) . I was very thoughtful about what I brought and what my strategy would be. Don't be fooled, I am only this thoughtful about things I really am interested in. My entire life is not this organized. At all! 

I decided that I didn't want to check a bag. I have now been on two European trips when other guests have had their luggage not arrive. I knew I was going to be out in the Tuscan countryside and a lost bag might never find me. 

I purchased the correct size International carry on from my go to favorite luggage shop Tumi. I am super lucky to live a short distance away from a Tumi outlet and always get good prices on their luggage. I was assured that this size was allowed on every International airline. (forshadowing....)

My number one strategy for not packing much is to pack in a different room than my bedroom. I packed in the guest room of Starlight Farm. By being a distance from my bedroom closest I am less tempted to throw "just in case" items into my bag.

My packing list was very small. I widdled and widdled it down and down and down until I got to the bare minimum. I also selected a wardrobe in 3 colors that all go together. Almost everything I packed is either white, a cream or taupe color, or blue. This way every single thing in my bag matches.

My minimalist packing wardrobe for 3 weeks in Europe in the summer (including hiking and a yoga retreat is as follows.)

2 dresses- one dressy/one casual

3 pairs of pants - white, funky wide leg khaki, and cream colored jeans

5 sleeveless nice blouses

2 lightweight cashmere cartigans in white and beige and 2 short sleeve sweaters

2 scarves

2 wraps- one a fabulous blue and one raspberry

underwear and 2 pairs of socks

a bathing suit

yoga/hiking attire = 2 yoga pants 4 T shirts

2 hats - one for the beach - one for hiking

pjs- one for the retreat, one for romantic getaway

a rain coat

3 pairs of shoes (This was the hardest part for me!) 1 hiking shoes, 1 Toms, 1 sneakers (I learned my lesson during a torrential downpour a few years ago in Sienna when I got caught in patten leather ballet flats. Always have a pair of crummy sneakers for crummy days.)

After rearranging my suitcase from packing in pouches to rolling every item, I was able to add one more set of PJs and a bathrobe which I think I will be glad I have at the retreat. Note to self: having packed the same suitcase with the same clothes in both styles, it was evident to me that rolling really does give you a little more room.

On the plane I wore a linen button down, jeans, sandals, and matching belt that goes with all outfits and a bigger comfy cardigan. All of these items match what's packed in the suitcase. I do not travel with any good jewelry. I worry about it too much and I don’t want to call attention to myself. I have a few pieces of costume fun stuff from the J Crew outlet thrown in my bag for color.

My compromise was to have my husband bring my favorite phython Ferragamo's in his suitcase after the retreat. You know, in case George and Amal invite us over for cocktails when we are in Lake Como. :)

Cords, chargers, etc are with me and the beloved pillow in my carryon "personal item". :) My toiletry baggy has multiple sample sizes of my favorite products. The containers can be disposed of as we go. I have had to buy toiletries on too many trips and it's not as easy as you may think. I also find I don’t want to waste time away from beautiful sights in search of saline solution.

Fast forward.... today I arrived at JFK and turns out I was on an Alitalia flight run by Delta not the Delta flight I thought I was on........Anywho... the woman at the ticket counter flat out refused to let me take my little roller bag on the plane. AFTER ALL OF THAT!!! ALL OF THAT WORK AND BUYING THE SUITCASE. Turns out the damn thing was TOO HEAVY to be allowed on. Have you ever heard of this? I have not. I have never had anyone weigh my carryon! I'm doubtful that this is a real rule as most of my co-passengers have roller bags above their heads!! 

Here's to hoping my little minimalist natural wardrobe arrives in Florence!! 

The good news is when we are in Switzerland we are changing locations every two days and traveling by the train. I will still be thrilled to have that little bag. :) 

Island supply clerk - Where is Klinger when I need him?

Our little island has a hardware store, a small grocery store, and a few small nice clothing boutiques. You could easily buy a bathing suit, an outfit to wear to a wedding, or a bottle of wine. There is a LOT you can not get here and thus I have become the Chief Island Supply Clerk for our family.

Things I have learned and tell our guests:

1. Don't forget your underwear.  If you don't wear underwear, don't tell me but you are not borrowing mine.

2. Bring books you want to read or have a kindle app at the ready. There are no books to be had here. You may take and keep any of the books off of my "already read" shelf in the guest room. "Paws off" the others as my sister Puddy would say. They are mine!

3.  Don't bother trying to bring toiletries. Come with a carry-on. This family of nine has cabinets filled with extra shampoo, toothpaste, and sunblock. I've got you covered with a toothbrush. I have a box of all the over-the-counter medications I could think of. We have Star Wars, Ninja Turtle, and Frozen bandaids to last us for years. There is no pharmacy, so bring meds if you need them.

4. Arrive with a full tank of gas. There is none here. We will probably want you to leave at some point.

5.  There is no uber. There is no taxi. There are golf cars. The airport is an hour and a half away.  Happy to help with flight transportation but that means no 6 am flights for you. 

6. There are no starbucks, great coffee, or favorite teas on the island. Use that room you saved on toiletries to bring your favorite caffeine products.

7. Anyone who shows up on island with a People magazine wins a piece of coconut cream pie.

The "Traveling Stitcher"

When daughter Brooke and I sat down to create my business cards I needed a title. That was easy, "traveling stitcher" summed up my dream job. I am totally an avid and dedicated Local Shop shopper.  I also often find myself hours from a local shop. I like small islands and lake cottages and any type of boat .... all which happen to be far from civilization.  I needed to create kits which have the same standards of quality I was used to, that could be fedexed anywhere in the world.

This photo was taken recently in the Philadelphia Airport on a layover. As you can see, daughter Brooke and I both travel with a LOT of needlepoint. A millennial daughter and a 52 year old mother do not always pick the same favorite canvases. I love that. I love that I can stitch a tropical monkey wearing an orange fez and daughter Brooke will stitch Tupac and Biggie Smalls. Although, I must confess, I am minutes away from choosing that Tupac canvas as well!

I carry all needlepoint with me in carry-on baggage. The black purse goes below the seat in front of me and contains my iPad, beloved Sony camera, wallet, two passports*, noise canceling headphones, and baggies of needlepoint. One of those baggies contains finished projects I wanted to have with me in Florida. I love to stitch on planes while listening to books on tape. For this flight I listened to The Knockoff. (Life hack. If you are a righty try to get a right side aisle seat or left side widow to avoid scaring your neighbor with your needle. Or sit next to your husband, he's used to that!)

The orange camo bag contains more projects for the trip. The other bags are Brooke's projects.

* about the passports....I travel with my passport and my husband's. Sadly, not for quick romantic get aways. Three years ago we were at the family cottage on Lake Michigan when we got a call our youngest son was being evacuated from Machu Picchu to have an emergency appendectomy in Cusco. He was 17 at the time.  Our passports were safely locked up in Vermont, and thus we had no way to get to him. We currently have two children in Europe. One is studying and working there and the other is traveling. In fact, at this moment they are in a bar in Munich together! If any of our children are out of the country, you can be assured, I'm carrying my mother sanity device! :)

This one was stitched in an airport while waiting to hear whether our son Colin got his dream job in London. He did!!

PRO TIPS:

1. Bring extra needles. Put them in several spots incase you change out your bag and forget. My change part of my wallet has several. Purse pockets have needles and so does my cosmetic bag. Nothing worse than arriving at the perfect place to stitch with no needle!

2. You can bring scissors on the plane. Read the TSA guidelines. I travel with smaller blades and have never had them taken away.

3. Precut fibers before flying. You can accomplish a lot more when you aren't fussing with your skein on the plane!

4. Ornaments and belts are great in flight projects.

5. Audible is a travelers best friend. Download the app. Buy your favorite books and have a great pair of noise canceling headphones. Listen to wonderful books while stitching for a dreamy flight.

River Cruising: What to pack

Here are a few lessons learned by someone who is a complete and proud packing geek:

1. Weigh your bag. You are allowed to bring 50 pounds in a checked bag. Do not leave for a great trip with 47 pounds of stuff. You are going to want to shop. Even if you think you are not a shopper. You will want to put more than 3 pounds of purchases into your suitcase.  Get that weight down. Aim low people!! Don't shlep lots of stuff you don't need.  We take advantage of laundry services on the boat and in hotels. It's worth the cost for us to have favorite clothes professional done and carry less. Pinterest has great packing lists for any of you other packing geeks out there.

2. Three or four pairs of shoes. That's it. No more. (They weigh too much!) Bring the most comfortable pair of walking shoes you have. Shoes you can walk for miles in!  And yes, they can be sneakers. That story that Europeans don't wear sneakers is not true anymore.  Sneakers are everywhere. Bring the most comfortable ones you have. Also bring shoes for bad weather. (Learn from me, on one trip to Italy, I was running through massive puddles in Siena in patent leather ballet flats.)  Bring something dressy, loafers for men, ballet flats or strappy sandals for women. The joy of being on a river cruise is that you can wear dressy shoes to dinner and not have to walk far in them! If you leave the ship for a night to go to a nice restaurant, you are going to be thrilled to have them.  Author and social media guru Amanda Brooks suggests "Always bring a party dress", I also suggest that men always bring a blazer. 

3. Do not bring books. None. You don't want to carry them.  Bring your kindle or as I prefer, an iPad with the kindle app.  I'm a needlepointer so I also love having audible books and noise canceling headphones. I can stitch away in listening to fabulous books in peace on a noisy plane.

4. Leave big purses at home. A medium cross body bag is what you want. Big enough to hold essentials and a few small purchases. Hands free and pick pocket proof is the way to go.

5. Rain Gear

6. If you use apple products and a camera, bring the little white apple card reader. It's so fun to be able to upload your photos in the evenings. It will inspire you to bring your camera with you the next day.

7. Bring a sampling of the over the counter medications you prefer when you are sick. If you get sick on a trip, you do not want to have to navigate pharmacies with language barriers to purchase medications you have never heard of.

8. Sleeping favorites. I actually travel with my favorite pillow from childhood everywhere I go. It's worth it to me to ensure I have a fabulous night sleep.  My husband and I travel with two sleep masks and two small reading lights. This way we can both read or sleep anywhere.

9. Sunglasses, hat, extra camera charger, extra glasses and contacts, headphones. Colorful scarves are a great way to dress up or change outfits you are repeating throughout the trip. A warm wrap is fabulous on a cold plane or for a spontaneous dinner al fresco. I have a favorite black cashmere wrap given to me by a dear childhood friend. I always fly with it and it doubles as a wrap to dress up any outfit.

10. Be prepared for a luggage disaster. Twice while traveling we have known people who have lost their luggage on the way TO the trip. What could be worse than arriving for a dream trip after 12 hours of traveling without any clean clothes?! We carry at least one great outfit in our carry ons (I prefer 2). The other trick some couples do is to pack half of each person's clothes in each of the two suitcases. This way if you loose one suitcase on the way, you each have half your clothes. We have not yet tried this, but have been tempted! 

* Do not bring ANY good jewelry. It's so not worth it. Every one of us has heard a story or two about someone we know who was robbed while traveling. Leave it all at home.  A wedding band if you are married and a simple pair of earrings are all you need. Simple inexpensive jewelry is fine.  Knock off costume jewelry is not the solution. Someone who is going to rob you is not wondering whether or not your sparklers are cubic zirconia. Don't call attention to yourself.

For luggage... We are loyal Tumi users. Love the 4 rotating wheels.  Great quality, no flash. We opt for grey because it hides the dirt but still stands out amongst all the black luggage. In addition we have added colorful markers to help identify our bags. We each also use a Tumi carry-on bag. My husband prefers a tote bag and I prefer a small, soft wheelie bag that fits under the seat in front of me. Both of our carry-ons attach on top of our larger bags.

Photos taken on our second day of the trip in Vienna, Austria. A grey, rainy yet beautiful day.

Viking River Cruise 101

My husband and I have had the great pleasure of traveling twice with Viking River Cruises. Two years ago we traveled through France from Marseille to Burgundy and then went on to Paris as a Viking add-on trip. We recently returned from our second river cruise on the Danube, starting in Budapest and traveling through Austria and Germany to Nuremberg. From Nuremberg, we again, traveled on to Prague with some of the other guests for another add-on experience.  Both times we have been on river cruises we have traveled with additional adult family members. This is a great way for us to spend quality time and share fun adventures with loved ones that live in other parts of the country.  

This trip, for us, was a celebration of our brand new empty nest. The Empty Nest Victory Lap, I jokingly call it. A time to celebrate that our children are right where they should be, and that we have reached a new phase in our lives.

Gorgeous buildings line the rivers in Europe giving passengers of the boats a glorious view

Traveling can be facilitated a variety of ways, as a child I traveled abroad with my parents on lovely business trips.  As a young woman I traveled twice on a dime, through Europe with a backpack and a train pass. I believe our Bible was called "Europe on ten dollars a day". As adults we have traveled by our own design or on private tours, from city to city staying in a different hotel every few nights, packing and repacking as we go. Each one of these modes is fun and exhilarating and provides amazing life changing experiences. High Tea at the Dorchester as a child was equally as fascinating as spaghetti dinners with other 20-something travelers in a  Salzburg youth hostel in the early 80s. In recent years we have had International travel experiences with our young adult children, and that is perhaps the most wonderful of all. Taking your child to a favorite city is a dream come true. Having your child show you around the European city they live in, is just even more magical. 

A look down to the Danube from the castle on the Pest side of the river.

River cruise travel is a lovely luxury that provides many perks in itself. Each boat has less than 200 guests. Spending a week touring and sharing cocktails and meals with other travelers is both  entertaining and a great way to meet other travelers and hear about their adventures.  On this past trip I was fascinated to hear that some travelers were going from river cruise to river cruise. One lucky group we met were on the go for four months!

Extraordinary church roof 

When you travel on a river boat, your state room, your closet and your belongings go with you as you travel from village to village in the same country or from country to country.. Unpack once and you are ready for adventure. Sleeping in the same bed every night after a days full of visual feasts is a great way to feel relaxed and well rested on your trip!  On most days you come back to the boat for a lovely lunch. This gives you a chance to change shoes, grab a sweater, pick up your camera, before your next tour.

Early Sunday morning, cafe workers begin to set up for patrons who will be quick to arrive.

Some mornings or afternoons are spent cruising on the river passing beautiful sites you would never see from the road. Some days you will have both a morning and an afternoon tour.  Everything is done for you. The ship's crew sees you off with water bottles, umbrellas, and tour information. Tour guides are awaiting on shore to take each group (on very clean, comfortable buses) to see the sights and hear first hand from a local about historical significances, artists' talents, and local customs. Different times during the trip there will be opportunities for shopping, coffee at a local cafe, or independent exploration.

Evenings are spent aboard ship. Cocktail hour is held in the lovely large living room area. Exceptionally professional and gracious staff make sure you have the cocktails you desire as you await the briefing from the Activity Director about the next day's adventures.  Meals are served in two different fashions, either a more informal buffet on the top deck or a sit down meal in the formal dining room.  Complimentary regional wine and beer are served at meals. After dinner, the living room is the hot spot for cocktails, live piano music, chatty travelers, and dancing. On some evenings there are performances or events. Late night fun on the top deck as the ship travels to the next destination or goes through the locks is particularly entertaining. Our family was fond of late night putting contests on the three small putting areas. 

Photos from our first day in Budapest.

A Week in Manhattan

I grew up 20 minutes outside of Manhattan, or as my father liked to say “11 miles as the crow flies from Central Park”. Our tiny one square mile suburban town is called Bronxville. Some confuse it with the Bronx, yet the two communities are entirely different places. Like many other families in Bronxville, our father commuted into Manhattan. In my case, my father commuted all the way downtown to One Water Street. Also like many people from my community, my family spent a lot of time in the city or as some call it “town”. Our school took us on field trips into the NYC museums and occasionally to Broadway shows. When my classmates and I were twelve our school took us to see Yule Brenner in the King and I. I went home and raved about it so much that my parents brought me back the next week so they could see it too. My parents loved the performance as much as I did!

My family went into NYC often to eat, go to the theater, visit Central Park, shop, and visit my sister when she lived there. We never did any tourist things. We would often go in and meet my father after work or go to lunch and the theater with my grandmother. Christmas holidays always brought us to the city for some very special restaurant visits, to see the holiday windows, and a trip to see a show or a holiday musical performance. In the days before cell phones, plans needed to be made in advance. My father knew exactly how long it would take him to get from his office downtown to anywhere in NYC. Having lived in Manhattan before marrying my father, my mother knows more about NYC than anyone I know. She knows where all the parking garages are and would tell my father where we would meet him for each event. I have a vivid memory of waiting with her for my father outside of the Algonquin hotel. I can still picture my father arriving with a big smile on his face. As per usual he was in his work uniform, a Brooks Brother suit, wingtip shoes, a trench coat and a fedora.

As a teenager I would go into the city often with friends for concerts and underage bar visits in the village. Our shenanigans were endless.

What my family never did was sleep in NYC. Unless I was sleeping in my sister’s or a friend’s apartment, we always headed back to Bronxville at night…sometimes running for the last train. I never stayed in a hotel in New York growing up. I don’t even recall it ever being a discussion. It wasn’t part of our suburban life. Our beds were eleven miles away…on the back of a crow.

I didn’t start sleeping in the city until I began dating my now husband and we were living in Vermont. We would come down on Amtrak and stay in a friend’s studio or a hotel and enjoy a few romantic days alone together in the city. I still marvel at sleeping in the city to this day and find it funny to go to bed in Manhattan. Imagine sleeping in a hotel in your hometown.

Over the years Don and I have found some favorite hotels and we also continue to try new ones. This week we are here to find an apartment for one of our kids. And boy were we lucky to find a great one the first day, leaving us three free days of fun!

Our view of St. Patrick’s from our hotel room

WHERE WE STAYED

For this trip I booked with American Express Platinum. This has become one of my go to ways to book a hotel. You can use points, get x5 the points on certain bookings, get upgrades, and get cash credits at the hotels for food. This time I booked the Lotte New York Palace which is the old Helmsley Building or as my children well recognize, Serena’s home from Gossip Girl. The 455 Madison Avenue at 50th Street location was perfect for getting around the city and proximity to fabulous restaurants.

We enjoyed the hotel very much and I would 100% stay here again. Our eldest son arrived Friday so we are now in two rooms next door to each other.

WHERE WE ATE:

We are a family that loves all types of restaurants. We love a fabulous upscale place, a mom and pop diner, and wonderful meals from around the world. On this trip we covered all of those things.

My two favorite restaurants we went to on this trip were a new to us sushi restaurant called Hatsuhana and an old favorite, the Austrian treasure, Wallse.

MOMA

WHAT WE DID

Our primary goal in coming into the city this week was to find an apartment. We thought it was going to be a much bigger and worse job than it turned out to be. We have a fabulous agent who knocked it out of the park for us. That left us lots of time for fun. The majority of our travels were on foot so we could proudly brag to each other about our step counts. We also traveled by bus, subway, and taxi. We explored the neighborhood where our daughter will be living several times and we spent Saturday in the West Village with our eldest and youngest. One of our all time favorite things to do in New York will always be visiting the art museums. This is something I try to do with my children wherever we are. On this special visit we returned to the Guggenheim and MoMA.

I took Courteney to the Peggy Guggenheim in Venice in April. It was fun to return to the NYC Guggenheim on Thursday.

Our family always splits up on museums. I was delighted to find this guy in front of the Pollack. He was actually the one who planned the museum visit which made it even more special!

Going to Morocco- Part One: Other People's Bucket Lists and Traveling through Paris

Many of us have bucket lists trips, trips we dream of going on, places we have always wanted to visit. What happens when you are invited to go on someone else’s bucket list trip? Do you go? I found myself presented with this opportunity a year ago. My brother-in-law Phil (who I first met on my 8th birthday) was given a bucket list trip by his wife Puddy, my sister. Phil is an extraordinary photographer and knew immediately his dream destination was Morocco. When he invited us to join them, my husband and I contemplated this question: “Do you go on someone else’s bucket list trip, and move your own down the queue?”. My own bucket list includes Bhutan, Scandinavia, and Scotland. Plus, I always want to return to many of my favorite places like Kenya, Europe, and the English countryside. I am a quick decision maker and my husband is much more thoughtful and contemplative, our answer was “YES!”. We were enthusiastic about returning to Africa and traveling with Puddy and Phil. I personally was very excited to join this Abercrombie and Kent trip. Having just started my own travel business, I was very curious to see how they ran a tour.

Don took me to the Luxembourg Gardens, a place I had never been before. It was a perfect setting for a man who loves gardens and his wife who loves sculpture!

This was Phil’s dream trip and he was planning the whole agenda. Although Don and I were invited to participate in the planning, we opted out.  Knowing my brother-in-law’s love of research and good taste, we knew he would spend much more time selecting hotels, restaurants, and sites than we would. Don and I did our paperwork, made the payments, purchased our airfare, and nothing else. We never even read the itinerary until 4 days before we left. Using the word “read” is a huge exaggeration. I would say we skimmed it and looked up the hotels on Instagram to get a vague idea of what they looked like. We trusted the process and like a pair of youngest children, went with the flow. I like watching highly recommended movies and reading books that I know absolutely nothing about. I know it’s going to be good, but it’s going to be a big surprise. This is exactly how I went into this trip!  However, since I am a huge, gigantic packing geek, I did research the weather, appropriate dress for women in Muslim countries, and “what to wear while riding a camel”. Hilarious yet true.

My favorite night in Paris is always walking over to Le Soufflé for dinner and a Vivaldi concert to follow at Sainte Chappelle. The chapel is wall to wall stained glass and a magnificent place to listen to beautiful music. On this visit to Le Soufflé I ordered the pear soufflé for dessert and they poured warm chocolate sauce on it for me. Best soufflé I have ever had!

We flew to Paris a few days early to acclimate to the time change and break up the flights. I am a big lover of acclimating. I am a very enthusiastic and devoted sleeper and I know that I have a much better time on international travels if I can adjust to the time difference before jumping right into fun activities. A few days in a romantic hotel on the left bank with my husband, several orders of Croque-Monsieur in Parisian cafes, long walks through world famous gardens, and two art museum afternoons were exactly what the doctor ordered. The garbage was starting to pile up in Paris and protests had begun. The complexities of the political policies and protests regarding Macron and the retirement age are far beyond my purview to write about. With great respect for the French people we left Paris through strike conditions and cancelled our return trip to Paris. We were disappointed but knew that it was the right move for our family. If I am going to find myself in the middle of a giant protest, I want to be sure I know the language and can foresee problems.

I love walking around Paris and taking in the sights, even on a slightly grey day.

Once we got through the numerous passport checkpoints in Charles de Gaulle, the rest of the trip to Morocco was very easy. Abercrombie and Kent sends an airport guide to get you through immigration. This was a wonderful treat, as our guide knew exactly what line to put us in for a speedy process and he translated for us with the customs officials. There were a lot of adventure travelers in baggage claim and it was fun to speak to the other travelers about who they were traveling with and where they were going. (And yes, I am that weirdo New Yorker who doesn’t socialize with my neighbors at home but randomly befriends adventure travelers in airports in far off lands.)

We were met outside the airport by our travel team, our guide and driver. I had no idea what a treat I was in store for.  Ghani our guide, and Adele our driver/guide would be the stars of our show. The minute they arrived with confidence, professionalism, kindness, and big smiles I knew we were in good hands! It was our pleasure to spend twelve days with these two men who would show us the beautiful country of Morocco, share it’s rich history, and introduce us to the culture we quickly came to love.

Venice Day 3 - Vaporettos and Vivaldi

Italian public transportation is rather easy and user friendly. Once you get the knack of it, you will feel like a pro. Most ticket desk operators speak English and you can also purchase tickets from fairly self explanatory machines. The trick to riding a train in Italy or the verparatto in Venice is knowing your own residential stop name. You must also know what line you are supposed to travel on to get home to your stop and always, always validate your ticket in the small machine near the train track or veperatto line. If you are riding an Italian train, like an American train, you should know the train number and the final destination of your particular train. Our experience has been that everyone is very helpful in when you are trying to get around Venice. The local people, the hotel front desk, and the other travelers all gave us great tips and clear instructions.

A chic woman riding the vaporetto in Venice

In Venice the Vaporetto is the water ferry. It’s run very much like a New York City bus. The Ferry goes around and around the canals. Different line numbers stop at different docks with clear signs. You buy your ticket, either in small incremental rides or as a multi day pass. You put your ticket against a machine, much like a grocery scanner to validate it before you get on the ferry. There are very steep fines if you are found on Italian transportation having not validated your ticket because that means you are stealing a free ride, as the ticket could be used again. In Italy you currently have to wear a mask on public transportation and they will not let you get on the Vaporetto without your mask fully on your face. I have seen passengers report riders who partially remove their masks. The ferry officials will also speak to or remove any passenger who has removed or lowered their mask.

All businesses and services travel the Venetian waterways, even the ambulances.

Don and I had great fun riding the Vaporetto around Venice and also traveling across the canal via gondola. Crossing the canal or riding around the canal gives you a gorgeous view of the city and the palaces from the water. There are two types of gondolas in Venice, the private sightseeing gondolas you hire and the canal crossing gondolas. The latter are fabulous. There are signs and little areas periodically along your foot travels where you can get in a multi passenger larger gondola with two gondoliers. These gondolas will take you across one of the larger canals for a few euros. The local Venetians stand and the visitors sit. Stand at your own risk. This is one place I am happy to stand out as a tourist.

We quickly became very comfortable with all forms of Venetian transportation and used it to our advantage. Private water taxis are also available. They can be pricey but are so glamorous. For example, we took a private water taxi from St Marks square to our hotel which was across the canal from the fish market on the other side of the Rialto bridge. It costs 60 euros. It was a really lovely late afternoon ride and we so enjoyed it. We also felt so comfortable on the Vaporetto that we cancelled our private water taxi to the train station and decided instead to take the Vaporetto to the train station when it was time to head to Lucca via train through Florence.

On our third day in Venice we looked at more art both in museums and as part of the Biennale art show that is currently all over Venice. Sometimes when we travel Don and I each pick something to do. On our third day in Venice we each had something in mind we wanted to see. For my husband’s selection we headed over to a museum with a Japanese garden.  With vast interests in gardens, Japanese gardens, architecture, and modern design ~ perhaps influenced by his many years at the Cranbrook School in Birmingham, Michigan, my husband found the perfect spot for both of us. After doing a little research he found a museum I had never heard of before and had walked by many, many times over the years completely unaware of it’s existence. The Fondazione Querini Stampalia a former home turned museum and is filled with gorgeous period furnishings and textiles. It was heartbreaking for this rule follower that I could not photograph the gorgeous Italian textiles. Woven through this delightful experience of fading opulence is a vast collection of modern paper lights in various shapes. I never would have imagined that old stone walls, thick rich Italian textiles, antique books, colorful tiles, and modern paper Japanese lanterns would marry so beautifully into a glorious feast for the eyes. A Japanese influenced garden in the back is a small joyful surprise in the middle of Venice.

My choice came from Instagram. I kept seeing an American artist popping up all over Instagram accounts of creatives that I follow. We took a lovely walk to find her powerful Beinniale sculpture exhibit and in doing so explored a part of Venice we had not yet experienced.

About 8 years ago Brooke and I spent a week or so in Venice in a very quiet, wintery November.  I will treasure that meaningful and magical time forever. Every day we walked the city and explored. We found a restaurant we just loved and went there almost daily. Some nights we would return, tired art girls who had been scouring the city, for a lovely dinner on the way home. As it began to get dark we loved wandering in to our special favorite cafe as it was  joyfully filled with locals and their families.  I rediscovered this restaurant on this trip. It took me a couple tries to find it because now it is summer, and I had only seen it at the beginning of Aqua Alta (when the waters were rising.) Now the care had awnings and umbrellas and tons of outdoor dining.. and guess the name...THE CAFE!!! Don and I chose to sit inside at one of my favorite tables. When I opened the menu and saw they had a big crepe selection I laughed, of course Brooke and I loved this place, Crepes are one of our all time favorite foods!

For our third night in Venice I had pre purchased tickets for the Vivaldi concert. They are easily available online from your country of origin. We had had a big walking day exploring museums and the D section of Venice so we were perhaps a little less than enthusiastic about having a commitment that night. We had dinner and arrived

Welcoming Toast for Wedding Guests to Our Small Vermont Community

October in Dorset, Vermont

Aren’t the leaves just beautiful?

All week we have been watching the trees make the change from deep green into their best dresses, billowing gowns of

fire-y orange,

deep mustards,

buttery yellows,

and celebratory reds.

It was like they knew you were coming and they wanted to surround you with a party of new England’s finest splendor. We have been driving round watching the leaves float like ballerinas through the sky, laying a blanket of beauty on our dirt roads.

The nights are getting a little darker and the evenings a little moody-er.

Tonight you will see why people have been singing about the “moonlight in Vermont” since 1944.

It’s like Mother Nature knew you were coming, our very special guests, you came from down the road, over the mountain, and from places very far away.

We had so much fun creating the tables tonight. Having all of our loved ones together, many who have never met… yet we have always wanted to introduce you to each other. Please take time to get to know your neighbors, both at your table and at the nearby tables. We love you! You will love each other! The vermont sky is filled with beautiful stars tonight, but the real shine-y stars in our hearts are all right here, in this tent. And it is my joy to look out at all of you and see your glorious star-y selves.

Your champagne flutes are filled with a special Vermont drink called Töst, it is a non-alcoholic sparkling cider and a favorite of our family.

Tonight our now big collective family would like to welcome all of you to our tiny town in the mountains and we thank each of you for coming to celebrate our darling, darling Bride and Groom. The first toast… our now big giant family… would like to give is to all of their beautiful guests. We are so very grateful to all be here tonight under the Vermont stars. Here is to all of you who took the time tonight to get all snazzed up and shine as bright as the Vermont stars…thank you for coming tonight to cover Brooke and Ethan with love….just like those gorgeous Vermont leaves.

Dog Walk Meets School Bus

Yesterday just as my husband Don and I set out on a dog walk with Finn and Daisy we met up with three small brothers who live own the road. My husband had met the family on previous dog walks but this was my first encounter. The eldest two had just gotten off the bus and were greeted by their mom and curly haired little brother. The largest of the darling small boys looked at me and said in a quiet voice “Second grade is hard.” Oh sweet boy, how I remember tired children pushed to their limits getting off the bus. I wanted to hug him. I looked at him and said “Yes it is.”

My Latest Favorite Happy Color.

I am currently loving this joyful bright yellow color!

Mood Board Fun

Don’t you just love a beautiful magazine filled with gooey gorgeous photos of stunning homes, luscious recipes, and couture gowns? I tried subscribing to the digital version of my favorite magazines, they are lovely, and it’s great to have a beautiful new issue in a kindle app on a plane or while traveling but the truth is…I want hold the magazine in my hand. I want to tear the pages out, lose them in my house, find them and be thrilled again. Last week I found an article I had torn out of a shelter magazine of a neutral house I LOVED. I had lost it in my belongings years ago. It was a joyful surprise. I am still on the hunt for another house I saw years go, my holy grail of tear sheets to study. Obviously I have an obsession for neutral palettes. The other home I am hunting for belonged to a woman who worked for William Sonoma Home. It was a neutral palette and she had one lovely red thing in her home, a throw blanket maybe? If this rings any bells, do please let me know.

As I continue to unpack from last years many moves….I found one of my many files of torn pages of magazines. To be honest, I am not as interested in fashion so most of my pages are interiors and a few recipes. I was reminded how much I loved these photos and decided to create some bulletin board mood boards for inspiration for my office. A quick purchase from Amazon for two large bulletins and tiny white pins sealed the deal.

Yellow is my color since I moved to Vero. It started with a big lemon pot and seems to keep going.. I was in a yellow phase many years ago in Houston. It’s really a beautiful color if don’t right. I am also and will always be into straw hats for island life. The top left is inspiration for growing ivy on my house. The bottom left is a door similar to my childhood home that I would like to add to our tiny 900 sq foot cottage in Vermont. The Beulah card is from my favorite shop in Beulah, Michigan, it was designed by the lovely owner. I desperately miss overseas travel and look forward to jetting off on a romantic get away with Don. The business card is from my favorite Soufflé restaurant in Paris. My sister-in-law Lucinda introduced it to me, and I have taken Brooke and Puddy there as well.

I did question whether I was too old to be putting funny bulletin boards on the walls or if that alone was even the vibe I wanted in my own home. The answer was yes. I learned a lot about myself in lockdown. In all the cleaning out, organizing, and setting up my home to really work for us during the many months we were home all day and no one ever crossed the threshold…I realized that the only people who really matter, in regards to your home….are your family. What would our homes look like if no one else ever came in them? That is a question I contemplate as of late.

We and Ours - How This Big Blended Families Rolls

Almost 20 years ago, on the cusp of ending my first marriage I met another woman with a family larger than my own. We had both just moved to Vermont that summer and we met at our new church with our swarms of children upstairs in the Sunday school. Someone who knew we both had big families introduced us and I immediately took to this wonderful woman. While we were speaking another woman came up and introduced herself to my new mom friend. She immediately asked her about where her children came from. “Are they all yours? Are they your husband’s? Is he the father of all of them? Is your family like a yours, mine, and ours situation?”. I was shocked. My new friend, the mother of the other large family, looked at the woman and said very matter of factly “They are ours, ours and ours”. A wonderfully confusing answer which left the interloper confused and making a quick exit. I was left a little dumbfounded. While I had been on the receiving end of many weird questions myself, I had never had anyone inquire about the parentage of my children.

At the time I had 5 small children and had just moved from Houston to Vermont. Many people in Texas commented to me about the size of my family. Nine out of ten times it was an older grey haired man in the grocery story who would say something to me like “You do know where those babies come from, right?”, it was always delivered with a know it all smirk. What always surprised me about it was that that question is of a sexual nature and I was a young mom pushing a shopping cart full of children that heard them too. It never happened to their father or when he was with me. I am New Yorker enough to say something super snide or give an eye roll that makes the other person feel like the moron that they are. I most often acted like I never heard them or turned it to the truth…”I am incredibly lucky to have this beautiful family.”. Until that day in Vermont I had never heard someone say something weird to another mother about her family.

I never ask women with large families how they got their babies. I never ask women with one baby where they got it. It never occurred to be to do so. I never cared. They were moms of kids. I never saw a need to question the genetics or gestation of their babies.

I grew up in a little one square mile town in Westchester County where there were LOTS of big families. For some odd and fun reason, the babies of these big families were all in my small grade in school. I thought nothing of playing at the house with ten children or the house with 8 children. I did it regularly. More than one family had 6 or 7 kids and and several families in town had 5. It was common in my community. I never felt it was in any way odd. I did think it was fun. As the youngest in my own family, I always wanted a big family. In college my father used to tell me to stop telling boyfriends that I wanted ten children. He said it would scare them off! I remember laughing hysterically when he told me this. What he didn’t realize was that I was very serious. Somehow, some way, I was destine to have a big family. I would have found another way if it didn’t go the way it did.

Don and Tricia a couple years in to this journey, Empire, Michigan

After my divorce I thought dating with 5 children would be impossible. It wasn’t. Time after time I met men who told me they always wanted more children in their previous marriages. I found this fascinating.

Almost two years after my encounter in the church, I met and fell in love with my husband. Between us we had a 6 year old, 7 year old, 9 year old, 11 year old identical twins, and two 13 year olds. We dated for four years to make sure we had it right so we would not put our children through another divorce. We married the first day of August in the backyard of our new home combining our two families…7 children and the flower girl and ring bearer AKA Rosie the pet guinea pig and Cornelius the pet rabbit.

Our bridal party. Colin, Brooke, Jasper, Willie, and Adam in the back. Courteney and Scotty in the front.

Adam, Willie, and Scotty Captiva, Florida

We blended our new family really, really well. I have said this a million times but it was much harder for us as a couple to learn to share a household as full blown, functioning adults than it was for our kids to blend. We were each a little stuck in our own way of doing things and were each used to being in charge. We had to learn from each other and compromise. Our kids on the other hand were super enthusiastic and embraced their new siblings with complete joy. I like to joke that the conversation went like this. “How many video game controllers do you have? Great, bring yours over to my room and we can play. We can be brothers.”

Our three babies Courteney, Adam, and Scotty on Sleeping Bear Dunes very close to the Heaton summer cottage.

My collection of 7s on the kitchen mantle at Starlight Farm

The house we purchased was the big old 8 bedroom farmhouse in town that had been on the market for years. No one wanted it but the insane people with seven children. We loved it. We became a family in that house. We were home for our 7 children. We have engaged a great deal of time to make things as fair was we could for family harmony. We were the parents that did things. Did the school forms, made the doctors appointments, bought the back to school clothes and the school supplies, we delivered kids to school and went back to drop off forgotten lunches, we went to parents weekend. We dealt with all the things parents deal with, medical issues, broken teeth, upset feelings, behavior issues, and great successes. This was not about who was genetically related to each other. It was about love. Don was the sports dad and I needlepointed and filled the Christmas stockings. We had a lot of very busy years. Don took charge of all things which involved organization, order, and cleaning. He was into car maintenance, bus schedules, and school calendars. He did the dishes. He is really good at all the things I am bad at. I did the grocery shopping and managed our social calendar. I’m the blabber mouth, the communicator. I had all the really hard conversations while he cringed but was happy that I was saying the tough things. I brought up all the difficult topics at the dinner table like safe sex, birth control, drugs, friendship, dating issues, and safe driving. We learned teamwork as parents. It took us a while but the two of us managed to create a united front. Don and I became a team. Sometimes that parent team hid in the garage or in a bathroom laughing together saying “Oh my god, what do we do with these kids?”. This happened more than once when we caught kids doing things we ourselves did as teenagers.

Courteney, Willie, Colin, Scotty, and Adam in the backyard where we were married, Dorset, Vermont

The boys are amused with Don’s shenanigans at Scotty’s birthday dinner at the cottage.

A big brother greeting from the darling little sister

The crew.

We do not use the word “step” in our family. Our children do not differentiate their siblings by genetic or marital connections. They use the terms “brother” and “sister”. We have 5 boys and 2 girls in our house. They are partners in crime. They look out for each other and get into great mischief together. And they bicker. Some more than others. When one got in trouble, it was with both parents. There were times some of them got into trouble together. Two nights ago I received a text from a hotel in Maui. Two of our kids were overjoyed to discover that they had both coincidentally ended up in Hawaii, a mile away from each other, on the same weekend. I can 100% guarantee that at no point did one say to friends “This is my step sister” or “This is my step brother”. They are brother and sister, in life and in their hearts. One of them asked me to pay their bar tab. Was it a surprise to the other? Probably not. I am sure they had a big laugh about it. What they don’t realize is that I am so happy that two almost 30 year old siblings would go out of their way to spend the afternoon together thousands of miles from home. That venmo was not taking advantage of me. That venmo filled my heart by saying that my children love each other and want to be together. The next day I got a photo of them sitting out by a pool. I treasure it.

Donnie Heat making breakfast for the crew at the cottage on Lake Michigan

We use the word “ours” to describe our kids. We also use the word “mine” to describe any and all of them. I fall in love with my husband a little more every time I hear him proudly call one of the kids “mine”. He earned that title 9 million times over. And he is theirs. “He is theirs.” That sentence is 17 years of devoted love by all parties involved.

Two brothers hiking along Lake Michigan with Don

BUT… and there is a BUT… Not everyone is okay with this. We have come across a few people who can not wrap their heads around the work we have done and that we are a “real family”. I was at a social gathering at some point a couple years ago and something came up about my family. I was asked by the person sitting to my left how many children I had and I said 7. The person sitting to my right leaned across me to the one on my left who asked the question and said “Tricia has 5 children. Two of them are Don’s”. This morning I told one of my kids this story and my daughter said she hates when people do that. She questioned why someone would want to diminish her relationship with her siblings and her father as “less than”..

A long ago Christmas at my sister Puddy’s in Lyme, Ct

I have noticed this more in the past year or so. Just recently I was telling a story about one of our children who lives in Europe and the person next to me leaned over and said “Is that your child or Don’s child?”. I usually follow the lead of the friend I told you about in the beginning of our story and say “our child”…and sometimes it stops there and sometimes it goes on to “no, really, is that one of your children or Don’s?”. The other question I get is “did you give birth to all of these children?”. It makes me wonder what kind of nonsense adopting mothers and fathers have to put up with.

A family game of mini golf in Michigan.

What I have come to realize in thinking about writing this story… is that these infrequent questions given to blended families, which feels like they are trying to separate and divide really hard work is actually people attempting to label our lives in their own criteria. Don and I have spent almost two decades with the goal of nurturing and loving all the children under our roof and raise them as your own.

I was going to end this here but another thought just washed over me. There is a completely different side to this story and those are the stories of adults who were loved very deeply by parents that came into their lives. While we do attract a few detractors and labelers we also attract many, many more stories of great love and great joy. We have several people in our lives, adult friends, who share stories of great love and affection for parents who came into their lives through marriage and raised them as their own. I love when they tell us those stories because they know we get it and we know how deeply they were loved by dedicated mothers and fathers who saw beyond the labels of genetics.

Mr. Wilson, 3rd Time is a Charm

Five years ago I arrived at our local dog park in Manchester, Vermont and I ran right into two women whom I saw there often. I noticed they were both in tears! Crying at the dog park! They were walking up and down the field together very distraught. I didn’t think they knew each other very well so I was surprised. They immediately came over to me and told me the whole story. A dog they knew and loved from the dog park had been taken to the shelter in our rural Vermont community. I didn’t know the dog or the owner and was surprised to hear this story. These women were devastated for and so worried about this little dog they had come to love dearly. Due to living circumstances, neither of them could possibly take him home.

For the past few months I had been contemplating getting another dog. Our magnificent 110 pound black lab Dudley was very playful and I thought he would enjoy the company. I could not believe this opportunity had literally been dropped right in front of me. I decided to go to the shelter and take a looky poo at this little dog I had heard about. I realized I needed a second opinion and went home and grabbed our son Scotty, who I knew would be brutal in judging odd little dogs at the shelter. He concurred that he was the right man for the job because his younger sister was completely unable to be objective and would take home any rabid beast if the opportunity presented itself! Scotty and I arrived at Second Chance Animal Shelter and found the little guy above. His name was Gizmo. He’s a funny looking little guy who dances around on his hind legs like a circus dog to get attention. He was hoarse from so much barking. He had been returned to the shelter by two different adoptive families. The little black dog flat out, with every cell in his body, refused… under any circumstance, or under the influence of any sedative, to get into ANY type of animal carrier. He’s like a crazy hyperactive toddler who wants to be held… a lot. He likes you to hold him so he is sitting upright… looking around the room or into the eyes of whomever you are speaking. Scotty and I decided this miniature bundle of energy was absolutely perfect for our big crazy family. We put him on hold for 24 hours so we could bring Dudley back to make sure they could tolerate each other.

Meeting “Gizmo” at Second Chance Animal Shelter

My husband was in Boca Grande at the time. Too chicken to call, I sent him an email telling him I’d found the second dog I wanted. Don was expecting another black lab, not a weirdo named Gizmo. Scotty and I returned the next day after school with our lab for a “meet and greet” and left 20 minutes later with the weird little dog, his plaid sweater, and a dog bed he knew as his “poof”. I am a woman who never calls a piece of furniture a “poof” so I was a tad annoyed by this revelation. When I returned home I found an email from my husband telling me that he’d thought it over and he felt adopting some odd, little dog was a huge mistake. Oops! He was already home with his new family! Poof and all!

Scotty and the dog he chose.

We immediately knew that the name Gizmo would 100 percent not work for us. I questioned the vet about changing a dog’s name and she told me if you pet them and feed them when you call them their new name, they will adjust quickly. On day four, we decided on the name Finn. Looking back on it, it is clear this dog could have easily handled a weirder or more exotic name. My husband and eldest son Japer have since given him the last name Wilson…AKA as Mr. Wilson.

Dudley and Finny Foo Foo, Dorset, Vermont

Finn has other peculiar habits that we have learned about over time. When I leave the house he runs and takes one of my shoes in his mouth and keeps it with him until my return (resulting in my shoes strewn all over the house, making it impossible to find a pair!) We have recently figured out that he occasional sneaks a shoe outside when he runs out to greet us. After our 2021 moves and packing up homes I have realized I am currently missing an UGG slipper and a Jimmy Choo ballet flat. I am not amused.

Finn is full on living his best “blue haired special” life. He starts asking for his dinner at 3:15 and puts himself to bed at night by 7:30. He goes upstairs to sleep on our pillows until we come to bed and he moves reluctantly to his prized “poof”. Finny Foo Foo fell madly in love at first sight with Don. The feeling was NOT mutual! Don arrived back in Vermont 4 days after Finn’s arrival and the day I was leaving for a trip to NYC with my friend Amy. I got several phone calls over that weekend about the horrible decision I made to bring this “disastrous little dog” into our lives. I called the kids and told them to keep the weird little pooch away from Don until I got home. Within a couple weeks they became completely devoted to each other. Don is obsessed with our little Finny Foo Foo and the feeingl is mutual...that is until Finn finds Don hugging me. Then our little Finn Wilson pounces high into the air to try and knock Don’s hands off of his mama. I find this behavior extremely annoying but my husband finds it wildly fun. He will come running, laughing into the room, and throw his arms around me and wait for the attack.

Due to the complete and total hysteria about pet carriers…I mean really BIG hysteria, Linda Blair head spinning type hysteria, we now drive back and forth between Florida and Vt for the sole reason that our Finn refuses to get in a carrier for a flight. We had a vet try to sedate him for a practice run with a carrier and I swear to God, it make him worse! We now put the poof on top of duffel bags in the middle of the backseat so he can get the full view of the cockpit and the road. We strap in the baby, and he rides quietly and obediently from state to state with his chin resting on the driver’s shoulder. He is the most perfectly imperfect backseat driver extraordinaire!

Finny Heat Heat having a little nap in the sunny living room at Starlight Farm, Dorset, Vermont

Our 11 Year Search for a Diagnosis.

For the past many months I have not wanted to blog. I had this big parenting thing going on and I didn’t know how to ignore the giant elephant in the room while telling the stories I love to share.

Last spring I decided to close my beloved needlepoint business. I was faced with a change in our schedule I didn’t see coming. I loved being in the needlepoint business and I was sorry to walk away and I was also grateful that I was able to put my family first. My husband and I were taking turns flying weekly to Boulder to accompany our youngest child Courteney to doctors appointments. After 11 years of a variety of rather mysterious symptoms, we knew that momentarily a diagnosis was finally coming, and we didn’t want our 22 year old to be alone in a doctors office when it arrived.

Scotty and Courteney in high school at The Inn at Westview Farms

Our journey started eleven years ago, when our tall, lanky, extremely healthy soccer player began complaining about her neck, by the third day I finally looked to see what was going on and realized she had an enormous (flat lemon sized) lump on her neck. Our Vermont family practitioner immediately concurred that this was both a serious and an unusual problem and called for a specialist. Before that appointment came to fruition, Bells Palsy set in. Luckily for us, the office doctor on call told us to go to the Dartmouth emergency room, where Courteney was immediately admitted. My panic started when I was questioned about getting an orthodontist to the hospital in the middle of the night to remove her braces so they could do scans for tumors. Luckily a secondary plan was created and no tumors in her neck were found. Long story short, the head of one of the pediatric departments at Dartmouth told me she had “no idea” what was wrong with Courteney and was discharging her so we could find other help. (Terrifying statement coming from someone with multiple medical degrees and the top job at a magnificent hospital.) Luck came again. My favorite high school boyfriend had become a world renown critical care pediatrician and researcher.  My “Hi, I know we haven’t seen each other since 1982 but could you please help me?” email was so kindly and generously received. Within hours he arranged for an immediate appointment with the top pediatric ENT specialist at Boston Children’s hospital. Lyme was found, treatment was a success, and within days my striker was back on her middle school soccer team.

Our journey down hospital hallways and sitting in doctor’s waiting rooms did not end there. Almost two years to the day after healing from Lyme more symptoms appeared. Severe fatigue and muscle pain being the most prevalent and challenging. My husband would be the first to tell you with a smile that I am the pushy New Yorker in our marriage. (This is funny for various reasons, especially because a childhood in Westchester doesn’t make me as New Yorker-y as my midwesterner might think…but I take the title with pride.)  I began the process of trying to get to the bottom of what was going on with my girl. This was the child, who on a normal day, could and would climb anything, run circles around her 6 older siblings, and could nail anything yards away with a soccer ball or a basketball. Alarmingly, I would find her crumpled on the floor with exhaustion.  At the time we lived in a big old higgledy piggledy farmhouse right in the middle of our Vermont town. I would find my high school daughter “resting” quietly on the old pine floors of our galley kitchen which separated the two ends of the house. She was never seeking attention or being dramatic, she would just quietly lie there, trying to muster the energy to go find one of her brothers.

We began the search for answers. I arranged for her to see every specialist I could think of…We visited a pediatric infectious disease specialist, an allergist,  and pediatric Pulminary specialist. We saw a pediatric teen specialist and an orthopedic surgeon (for her severe back pain). The naturopath we visited found two things,  she was severely anemic and that she had tested positive for previously having mononucleosis. With the exception of the naturopath, every doctor told us she had either A.) Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or B.) “Nothing is wrong with her and teenagers spend too much time on their phones. She just needs to sleep more.” The allergist was stumped and suggested giving up gluten. The orthopedist assured us there was nothing wrong with her spine. In every instance Courteney was devastated and often concerned that the doctors were missing something very serious like cancer.

A visit to the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum.

I became that mother, that really big pain in the ass. I became that mother that doctors look at weirdly wondering “Is this one of those Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy women we learned about in medical school?” Courteney asked me to go to doctors offices with her after she turned 18 because she felt that no one was taking her seriously, whether it was because she was young or a female, she was unsure.. She had given up trying to explain her symptoms and the timeline because she felt she was given a pat on the head and sent on her way. She preferred me to be the aggressive one, trying to tell every symptom hoping that some doctor would be triggered into trying to find something new. We got nowhere. Absolutely nowhere.

All too often we found Courteney snuggled up in exhaustion or pain. Our dogs however thoroughly loved all the attention they received on the couch!

In the fall of 2019 my husband and I were concerned. After planning to transfer from College of Charleston to CU Boulder, Courteney got word she had been accepted into her dream opportunity, the NOLS Tanzania program. She would head to Africa between colleges, hiking across the bush and climbing Kilimanjaro, the highest mountain in Africa. Would she take iron if she needed it? Would our once very energetic athlete make it to the top? We were concerned as she boarded her flight across the globe. Several months later we were shocked when we met her outside of customs at Logan airport. She was 20 pounds heavier and stronger than we had ever seen her.  Off she went to start her new college. Weeks later we began to hear about this disease which was killing Italians and shutting down villages in our favorite country. A couple weeks after that she was home with us, dormitories closed, and a global pandemic was crossing our planet at a rapid rate. While Courteney was flying to Florida to Don, I was at John’s Hopkins saying goodbye to my brother.  Hopkins thought he was the first Covid patient, within days they realized that he was not, he was dying in part from the autoimmune disease Sarcoidosis which was taking it’s toll on his body after decades.

While we had not given up on finding a diagnosis for Courteney, we were learning to cope with her condition, while trying to figure out our next strategy to find help. A bought of severe low energy and continued back pain sent Courteney to the medical center at CU Boulder searching for an iron test. Never in a million years would any of us have guessed that a nurse in a college health clinic would solve the problem that numerous specialists up and down the eastern seaboard missed over and over and over again. Courteney received a call a week later from this nurse, that on a hunch she had run a test for a genetic marker that sometimes attaches to white blood cells called HLA-B27, and that Courteney tested positive for carrying the marker. She told Courteney she suspected that she had an autoimmune disease called:

Ankylosing Spondylitis.

What the every loving fuck?!

ELEVEN years of diagnosis searching, after meeting Courteney for ten minutes, a nurse at her second college medical center ran a blood test none of us had ever heard of, that no doctor had ever mentioned, and discovered Courteney had a genetic marker we never knew existed. That was a lot to take in. We could not get over that this woman knew what we did not, we were overjoyed to have a direction to point ourselves, and we were devastated to hear what it was. Not one medical professional had ever even uttered the words “autoimmune disease” in eleven years! Every night  after this news I would hang up with Courteney, google new medical terms and sit and cry at my desk. How was it that my brother and my daughter had seemingly unrelated autoimmune diseases? Were they unrelated?

Left to Right - Tricia, Courteney, Puddy, Henry, Gay, and Phil. Gilford, Connecticut. Several years before we knew how serious Henry’s autoimmune disease was or had diagnosis for Courteney.

It was at this point I closed my needlepoint business and my husband and I flew back and forth to Boulder every other week going to appointments with her to confirm a diagnosis. The rheumatologist we saw first old us she didn’t have Ankylosing Spondylitis. He was all proud of himself for telling this young woman and her mother that she was fine. He was not proud, he was really just incompetent. When he commented to me that Courteney was teary because she was so happy, I informed him that no, in-fact, she was teary because he didn’t figure out her diagnosis.  Never giving up, we went to a spinal specialist who took one look at Courteney’s chart, spoke to her, and looked her in the eye and said “I know you have it, you know you have it, and now we need to find the evidence to prove it.” And that she did. For the first time ever, a doctor did an MRI of Courteney’s spine. And there, all along was the evidence, hiding in plain sight, arthritis in the back of a 22 year old. 

Courteney is currently being treated at Cleveland Clinic in Vero Beach by a rheumatologist who is nothing short of being a rockstar. She put Courteney through her first significant battery of tests which not only confirmed time after time again that Courteney has Ankylosing Spondylitis, she has also discovered two other medical connections which are fascinating but not harmful to my girl. One of these medical conditions explains some of Courteney’s amazing athletic abilities: Marfan Syndrome.

I share this story for a variety of reasons and with Courteney’s blessing and encouragement.

Our family wants you to know these five things.

A.) Trust your gut.

B.) If you feel no one is listening, bring an advocate with you who will speak up on your behalf.

C.) Don’t be afraid of what people think of you. If I had been actually worried about the whole crazy mother with Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, I would have been waiting for my 18 year old in the waiting room instead of fighting for her over and over in the office.

D.) If you have an undiagnosed and untreated medical issue, do not give up. Keep trying to find the best medical help available to you.

E.) Communicate well with the nurses, this is the fourth time our family has been very successfully diagnosed by a nurse filling out the forms you do when you arrive. 

And if you are a doctor or a nurse, thank you so much for everything you do. Thank you for all of the years you spent in nursing/medical school and the great expense and time you took to hone your craft. We are in this for the long haul and we won’t be able to do it without you! We appreciate you!

Consider reading up on HLA-B27, Ankylosing Spondylitis, and other autoimmune diseases if you feel you or a loved one has odd symptoms and are not finding answers to your questions and concerns.

My Father was a Sailor

My childhood family memories could be summed up by this one photo.

My wonderful loving father Bill Thorn loved to sail, and sail we did... every weekend and every vacation. He was widowed at 48 with 3 children between the ages of 7 (me) and 21. After we lost my mother the teenage friends of my siblings often joined the trips. I’m sure it was part of a great plan to keep the big kids on the boat.

While spending so much time on a boat might sound glamorous to non-sailors, it’s not. Sometimes it felt a little like Swiss Family Robinson. Lots of salt, sun, big waves, and mildew! We were sunburn and windburn at all times. We lived off deli sandwiches, chips, and canned soda on these trips around Long Island sound and up and down the coast to the Vineyard or Nantucket. I had an orange snoopy sleeping bag and was lulled to sleep by the waves and sounds of the clang of the rigging.

There were madcap adventures like my father falling off the boat, not once but twice while on the mooring by himself, trying desperately to figure out how to get out of the water and back on to the boat. My daddy navigated with a slide rule and a chart, a depth finder, and the stars. My brother and sister became amazing sailors and navigators. I, the youngest brought bags of barbies, books, and needlepoint and played for hours down below. I became the default family cook because I never got seasick. I have vivid memories of being very young and making and passing up sandwiches to my sister who was calling down the orders.

All strong swimmers, we swam off the boat without life jackets and no land in sight. This was so joyful until my dastardly brother and sister got stuck babysitting me and took me to Jaws in Edgartown. Have any of us recovered from that movie?

My father remarried my stepmother who brought a candy jar on the boat with tootsie pops and my life was vastly improved! Soon afterwards a boarder terrier joined the crew. I’m writing this from Orlando airport where we have been removed from a broken plane. Not unlike being run aground, I am stuck in place. I just realized I’m wearing the exact outfit my father is wearing in this photo. Sailor style sticks with you.

The 2020 decision to sell Starlight Farm

Last month we sold our family home in Vermont. It was something I never thought we would ever do. I envisioned keeping our wonderful home forever and giving our children parcels of the 16 acres to build their own little individually styled guest homes. I envisioned weddings and grandchildren, Christmases, and Easter egg hunts. Maybe we would build a screened-in sleeping porch down by the waterfall. Maybe we would plant fruit trees. For sure our family would have a geographically ideal plot of land should global warming continue at the pace it is now.

Stitching near the waterfall.

My magnificent view from our master bath.

Mama bear looking to borrow a cup of sugar.

The changes the world went through with Covid-19 redirected many of my visions. In a year when we found ourselves closed in our homes I looked closely at our living situations. In a year when we stopped going to stores and stopped dressing for social events, I realized we needed so much less. In a year when I was cleaning out closets, the basement, and a large storage room, I realized we just over all, in every single way, needed less than what we had. I began to think about simplifying and purging. In the spring of 2020 when we were all quarantined at home, I began to rethink how we lived. With 6 of our 7 children very far away, quarantined in their own homes… I began to change my dreams. My dreams involved going to them rather than trying to get them to Vermont.

My favorite morning view.

My husband and I are very enthusiastic travelers. We love nothing more than setting out on adventures together and we were looking forward to taking our now adult children with us. I am a studied packer. I am one of those weirdos who has 225 pins saved on my Pinterest account with ideas on minimalist packing and traveling the world with a small suitcase. When we travel I love to challenge myself to bring as little as possible. I aim to blend in, feel comfortable, and travel light. I love it. I love living out of a suitcase with a neutral wardrobe and a few fab necklaces or scarves for a splash of joyful and chic colors. I do not love managing stuff and the reality is….I’m not good at it. In fact, I am actually really terrible at managing stuff. I may lack the “put it away” gene, and I am a master ostrich who would rather bury her head in the sand than clean out my closet or look under my bed. I am very good at putting things in piles to go upstairs or downstairs. I just really lack the fortitude to actually get those piles up the stairs.

Important words to think about as we went into lockdown. LOVE JOY HEALTH FAMILY FRIENDS PEACE MOTHER EARTH GRATITUDE

In the past year I have not been to any stores to buy clothes. I ordered one pair of fabulous Ugg slippers during the first month of lockdown when we arrived in snowy Vermont, I bought the most fabulous (and unfortunately expensive) Australian organic facial moisturizer, and a couple pairs of sneakers. For the past year my already owned beautiful clothes and shoes have gone unworn and my jewelry has not seen the light of day or left the safety deposit box. Why would I ever need more, when I don’t use what I have?

Little kitchen suppers when we were a small group.

My fabulous fine china collections have sat untouched. Tablecloths hanging in the closet, still in their dry cleaning bags from two years ago. My house felt more like a museum of a previous life, one we all hope to return to.

Chili dinner in the kitchen. Tulips from the Dorset Union Store brighten up the table.

In the meantime, there were certain items in our house that became the wonderfully loved treasures they deserved to be. I restarted my love affair with the kitchen equipment and utensils I had been collecting since my early twenties. We cooked glorious meals 3 times a day. I scoured my vast collection of cookbooks and we signed up for meals that were delivered to our doorstep. Hello Fresh and Marley’s Spoon arrived twice a week filled with ingredients and recipes. We learned how to make totally new meals while avoiding shopping while quarantined. We signed up with a fabulous food co-op that was gathering farm fresh food from our treasured Vermont farmers. We also found dog eared recipes and made long ago favorites. We each once again fell in love with favorite pots, we fought over favorite knives, and we dug out potato peelers, lemon squeezers, cheese graters, egg slicers, and meat thermometers. My egg poaching pan remains a favorite and I’m still waiting for my husband to fulfill a promise he made to bring back the soufflés he wooed me with when we were dating!

After driving from Florida to Vermont we quarantined and didn’t leave our house for fourteen days. Meals delivered to our doorstep helped make that possible.

Northshire Grown food boxes filled with specialities from Vermont Farms became our weekly treat!

We embraced “dressing down.” I said goodbye to “hard pants”; this phrase still makes me laugh hysterically and think of my niece Rachel, who was the first I heard use it. Sweatpants, tee shirt, and the boys’ discarded worn flannel shirts became the staples of my wardrobe. That pair of Ugg slippers became my all time favorite footwear and I wore old sweaters until they had so many holes in them that they were delegated to the precious pile of “nightgown sweaters”. (For those of you who don’t know what nightgown sweaters are…. they are fabulous old cashmere sweaters which are so old and holey yet still so wonderfully comfortable… completely inappropriate for public viewing yet absolutely wonderful over your nightgown.)

We also pulled out the games. We played games by the fire. No TV, just roaring fire, and family laughter, arguments, and smack talk. I loved every minute of it. Our youngest daughter got her fill of this time. We treasured having her and missed our older children dearly.

color sudoku

Frank Lloyd Wright puzzle from the wonderful Northshire Bookstore

There are only two other collections that I remained devoted to and used regularly….our library of books and my needlepoint collection. All of those design books I have been been hoarding over the years became my regular textbooks…as I studied every photo time and time again. I admired, critiqued, and learned from every square inch of each text. My needlepoint was my sanity savior. I have said this numerous times over the past many decades, there is nothing like filling in a flower, an area of background, or finishing one particular color to make you feel like you have accomplished something huge in your day. I needlepointed a great deal during 2020, finishing over 35 projects. It was my meditation and I loved every minute of it.

A belt I painted for my friend Eric Holch. I don’t usually do customs but I couldn’t resist the offer to collaborate with my favorite Nantucket artist! He designed it and I painted it for him.

As we ended a full year of living at home, our suitcases left untouched, our closets full of unworn clothes…this very important year in the history of our planet, as we coped with a global pandemic, things changed for everyone around the world. As families across the globe lost loved ones (including our own family, losing one of our most loved)…we realized we needed less, we needed less square footage to store all the things we never used, we needed less land we never walked upon. For the first time, instead of actively seeking our next adventures outside of the home…we just needed to be home. Home was safe, staying home kept others safe. We were on the team trying to help stop the spread of the virus. We needed less house, less stuff, and maybe that looked a little different than all the visions we had for so long.

A customized needlepoint pillow shows the location in which it was stitched.

So we find ourselves in a new home that checked off new boxes of things we needed and wanted, a couple thousand miles away. We have less rooms, less land, less closets, less storage areas, and less stuff. We sold two homes and the furnishings in them. We had a massive (Covid friendly) estate sale and sold all the treasures we had collected over the years. We brought with us our kitchen equipment, sweatpants, games, books, and needlepoint. There are even a few hard pants around here somewhere, which I am 99% sure I no longer fit into. We brought our favorite art, much of it made by our children. My husband brought his musical instruments and I brought my paints. Only one Ugg slipper made it in the boxes as the other has been buried in the backyard of Starlight Farm by my little furry friend. The remaining slipper will need to be disposed of soon. That’s okay, I am fairly certain I don’t need warm fuzzy slippers here amongst the palm trees.

2021 begins the year of less for us, with less material stuff and less responsibilities for stuff. With less things we don’t need….I am confident there will also be something more. What that will be, we will have to see. I will be sure to let you know!

Giving Thanks at 5 am the day before Thanksgiving

I am sure I am not the only one who is sitting here in November thinking….”how is it possible that we are still thick in the middle of this?”. I remain, after all of these months still taken aback as I see everyone in masks, feeling like we are in the middle of some unimaginable pandemic movie of my nightmares.

When the pandemic first started and we were watching our brave Italian friends cooped up in their apartments and as Americans started to see empty toilet paper and hand sanitizer shelves…. my own family faced tragedy. The day after I purchased my first batch of emergency cleaning products, I received the call you never want to get. My darling, dearly , DEARLY loved brother had been rushed to Johns Hopkins and had stopped breathing on the way. Without more than a thought of ”where is my purse?”, I jumped in my car, drove to the airport, and boarded a plane to get to his side as fast as humanly possible. My brother Henry was my person. He was all of our person in the Thorn family. He was our heart and soul, our wet your pants laughing comedian, our biggest fan, our biggest teaser, our fiercest protector, and our most hilarious and steadfast team cheerleader. He was in Johns Hopkins on life support. I had to get there as fast as I could. For the first few days of his stay, they thought that maybe Henry had COVID-19, the first case to come to Hopkins. After days of severe visiting restrictions and the need to wear PCP equipment to hold Henry’s hand in his special room, the causes of his condition were determined and COVID ruled out. We would loose my award winning perfect big brother, we would also escape COVID ourselves due to his non contagious, non virus related medical emergency diagnosis. We would also, before the end, get a birds eye view of one of the best hospitals in the world, preparing for the worst. We watched from inches away, the A team preparing for battle. I will forever have the greatest admiration for health care workers, the sacrifices they have made during this pandemic, and the price their families have paid. This same admiration flows from my being for first responders, front line workers, food providers, essential workers, teachers and school officials. These heroic people are our angels on earth.

When I returned from Johns Hopkins in early March, I was shell shocked and horrified by the loss of my brother. While the world prepared for lockdown with impending concern, I was frozen and speechless. As a normally micromanaging and hovering mother, the on the regular, unsolicited Dear Abby, advice spewing creature of my childrens’ nightmares….I went silent. I would look at my husband with big brown pleading eyes and he would assure me they were all fine. My father was a prepared sailor, a WWll ambulance driver, and an insurance company executive. I was trained and genetically prepositioned to have my little army ready for battle, unexpected doom, and any emergency which required non-perishable rations and Twizzler. I was made for this job and I completely was not there, when the calling came. Thank God, Don and I raised equally equipped kids who knew exactly what to do without that harassing mother woman texting disaster preparation plans. They have been rockstars throughout this global nightmare.

When we left our home in Florida in the end of March, I filled our car with our college age baby, my business, our dogs, and my beloved hubs. We left our summer clothes behind because they didn’t fit in the car. I was sure I would be back for them in a few weeks. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that today, on the morning before Thanksgiving, that I would find myself here.

Here is in an inn in Bluffton, South Carolina. That baby and my husband are sleeping soundly in the room while I type. Other loved ones are minutes away asleep at my sister’s house. The rest of our loved ones are scattered around the country, Canada and London, respecting International travel bans, protecting health and following travel restrictions with our support and admiration. Those of us who have come, have come to honor my brother, who died in a time in history when funerals, memorial services, and celebrations of loved ones are impossible. Those of us who have come, have come with those who could not come, in our hearts. This week, we will celebrate the biggest heart and most hilarious spirit. In a tiny way, we will honor our biggest cheerleader.

It would be easy this year to ignore the title of my blog post and revert to dwelling on the horror our family, our country, and our globe have experienced the last few months. The loss of life, jobs, income, homes, and normalcy has taken a huge toll on humanity everywhere. I especially worry about the impact it has had on both children and mental health. I also am riveted by the plight of our heroes, many of them everyday people, who have risen past the horror into the helping position. I am cheering for our volunteers who are feeding families, I am cheering for our visionaries who see the problems and find the solutions. High five to those of you who are seeking out elderly neighbors and making sure they are okay! Bravo to those of you who are standing up to inequality and caring about others besides yourself. Thank you to those of you who are protecting our planet.

In a year without international adventures I am turning my eye towards home and community, and simple pleasures. Here are 10 things off the top of my head I am thankful for. Please feel free to add your own in the comments!

1. Those blessed souls who create television shows and movies and put them on our screens with magical systems like Netflix, Acorn, Hulu, and On Demand. If I could bake you a pie, I would. You have both kept me sane and also kept me out of my family’s hair. We all thank you!

2. Let’s hear it for the clean beauty gurus. I learned so much the past few months regarding clean beauty. As someone who doesn’t dye my hair or alter my face, I am all about good moisturizer and cleanser, gorgeous lip color and fabulous mascara. Since I am not putting chemicals on my hair or in my skin I have taken a big interested in what is going on my skin. I learned about my favorite products this year from beauty counter representative @ktschrader, blogger @nan.philips, and @indiaamory sharing what was in her beautiful pouches. Thank you ladies!

3. Drew Barrymore. Drew has been a shining light during the lockdown. Happy, cheerful, honest, encouraging. For kicks, read her blog post about her zoom meeting which went very, very wrong. Every parent needs to know…. they are not alone juggling kids and work.

4. The Southern Coterie. Thank you so much ladies for bringing amazing content and educational programs to your membership. I learned more during the last few months about running my business than I dreamed possible.

5. Rita Konig. Holy mother of God. If any of you know Rita will you please tell her there was a crazy woman stuck on top of a mountain in Vermont quarantining half the summer soaking up every word she said during her Create Academy course!! I feel so smart now!! Plus she justified all my life long luxury shop indulgences and antique hoarding!!! LOVE YOU RITA! I am dying to start my next house project!

6. My girlfriends. Sitting outside with you this summer was my bread and butter. I am so grateful to each one of you. XOXO ROCK ON “HOT MOMS”! I love you!

7. Safe cars. I have driven more these past 8 months than ever before. If I could grant a wish, it would be that everyone have safe transportation. I am so grateful to have been able to travel in a bubble to deliver children, visit my mother, and see pretty sights during a trying time. I have always loved a Sunday drive. Now more than ever I appreciate just going for a ride, looking out the window and admiring your vegetable gardens or leaf piles as we go on our merry way. You just know, this is going to be the year of the holiday light displays, right?! Tis the season to be tacky. Bring it on!!

8. Facetime. Thank you so much to whoever invented this magical product and brought it to every device I have. As a visual mother, who wants to look at her grown children, this product has brought me joy and kept me sane. So grateful to look at my babies.

9. People providing food and water. Right now in our little community in Vermont volunteers and donors are working tirelessly to provide food supplies, and holiday meals for friends in need. This is happening all around our country. Our friends at @kenyadrylandseducation fund are working tirelessly to provide Northern Kenyans with food needs and clean drinking water. The schools are closed and students are home with their families. The loss of school meals is crippling.

10. I am so grateful to my father Bill Thorn. He has been gone for several years but his heart beats loudly and lovingly in mine. It is because of him that I am so grateful and I admire people who do generous and kind things. He was so observant of those doing good in the world, he was both complimentary and appreciative. He did funerals really well, he loved his family, and he often had a little happy Winnie the Pooh like humming going on at the dinner table as he ate something delicious. I will spend the next few days striving to honor his beautiful soul and his amazing son.

I send off this Thanksgiving wish to all of you. May your souls feel love. My you find little things to bring you great joy during this holiday season, may you connect either purposefully or accidentally with someone else who needs joy. And may you feel peace and enjoy pie.

I am grateful for you, dear reader.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Tricia